A friend told me she was dressing up as a cockroach for Halloween. I thought this was clever because I had read Kafka’s Metamorphosis over the summer, and the book inspired her costume. In summary, the protagonist, Gregor Samsa, wakes up one day, transformed into a monstrous insect. This forces him into isolation; his family and society struggle to understand him. Although my friend mentioned her costume weeks ago, our conversation lingered in my head for a long time after. Not solely because I thought the costume was unique, but also because I’ve been noticing traces of Gregor in the world around me and have been thinking about my own transformations.
I went through a personal metamorphosis in October: my first midterms. Luckily, I only had two, which (don’t get me wrong, I still complained relentlessly) I consider a blessing compared to my Engineering counterparts. My results for one midterm have been released and frankly… things were less than favourable. At the time of writing, I am telling myself, “What is this, if not an opportunity to improve?” However, I can’t pretend that I took my grade like a champ because as soon as I opened OnQ, the floodgates of tears opened in the middle of Bracken.
Alone with just my thoughts, I reevaluated what I had done, and what I could have done. Maybe it’s obvious, but PSA, do not forget about your online course and cram in half the semester’s material (meant for six weeks) within the span of one. In retrospect that’s clear, but with everything else going on in my other classes and clubs, the last thing I wanted to do was sit down and work through modules. Now I know. Because not only did it affect that course’s midterm, but it also meant I couldn’t allocate myself time to study for my second midterm until the first one (for the online class) was over (which happened to be less than 24 hours after).
PSA 2: Clean your room!!! I never make my bed, and my desk currently has 18 different lip glosses scattered on it, but when I took my online test, I spent 15 minutes cleaning in front of my proctor for a 30-minute exam. It might have been an all-time low when I had to explain that no, I wasn’t cheating, this is really just how I live. Beyond that, even though (for me) random classrooms in random buildings are my study-spot of choice, there is value in living in a space in which you can study. Which I know now.
My final epiphany came to me when I was reminded that my midterms were weighted 15% and 20%, respectively. Insignificant? No. But also not detrimental. My grades are still salvageable. The two midterms do not symbolize my intellectual capability, but instead the effectiveness of my study tactics: one moment in time. While the grade stares back at me every time I open up OnQ, I am also starting to see it as a source of motivation to continue altering my study habits within the next month and beyond.
Despite this, the longer I spend in university the more I have solidified the belief that the next four years is not merely about academic transformation, but it is also a place where your character, ideologies, and morals spend time in a chrysalis. The Queen’s community has shown me that it is not what you do within the confines of campus and of oneself that matter most; the importance lies in how you can utilize the experiences