Dear Reader,
Where did the weeks go? Actually, scratch that, where did the months go? Last semester was a whirlwind, but it was also one of the best semesters of my life.
As I look back on the semester, I can see my development as a graduate student. I remember writing my first blog and being so nervous to jump into grad school. Now that I am one semester in, I feel like I am exactly where I’m supposed to be. In my first blog, I said, “This could be my last year in academia.” In hindsight, that was the imposter syndrome talking. And, to be honest, it’s still here. It lurks in meetings about papers and discussions about grant applications. It hovers when I knock at a professor’s door or when I show my work to a peer. I’m not sure if it will ever go away. But if this semester has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I cannot stop here.
Yes, there is always more than can be done, but we are restricted by the hours in a day. As one of my professors told me, “You have to sit with that dissatisfaction sometimes.” And he’s right. In grad school, there are endless professional opportunities and resources and project ideas and the list goes on and on. But we can’t do it all. And for me, one of the most challenging aspects of this term has been grappling with that. Just one more book. Just one more page of this paper. Just one more meeting to get this project right. Just. One. More. There will always be more. And yes, I will always crave one more book, chapter, page, sentence. But setting reasonable, attainable goals keeps me in check.
In November, I felt burnt out. Yes, everyone’s biggest fear as we near finals. I was exhausted. It was before my professor shared those words of wisdom, and I was trying so hard to do it all. I don’t regret pushing myself hard. Every time I turned around, I was saying “yes” to another opportunity. And they were fantastic opportunities! I loved every second of them. But I exceeded my limit, and I found myself struggling to stay awake long enough to get through each of those opportunities. I sat with my professor one day, and I admitted that I was feeling burnt out. I was anticipating advice on scheduling my time and turning down opportunities. But I didn’t get any of that. His advice? He took me back to the basics: sleep, eat, exercise. Sure, I was excelling academically, but I was struggling with the three most basic things. So I took his advice. There is less time in my day for pure study now, but the hours I have are so much richer. That was the reality check I needed, and it got me through my final papers!
If, like me, you struggle to prioritize the basics, check out what Health Promotion at Student Wellness Services have to offer. They have their own blog and—like SASS—peer coaching to help you find and stick to healthier life habits! After a restful holiday break, it’s easy to fall back into old habits. I know for a fact that I will struggle to address “the basics” this January. But I have seen the benefits, and I need to be my best self if I want to help others be their best selves.
Hope you had a great holiday, Queen’s—and good luck!
Until next time,
April