Hi there,
As I write this blog, I realize how much writing is important not only academically but also personally. It is a great way to acknowledge and digest our own experiences and feelings. I have come to (once again) really appreciate the work that Student Academic Success Services (SASS) does to support students with writing. They help people strengthen their academic skills, yes—but more than that, they help students express themselves and communicate what really matters to them. That kind of support can make a big difference, especially when you’re trying to process something that didn’t go the way you expected.
And that brings me to this story—one I never thought I’d be writing.
If you read my last blog, you might recall that my plans for this summer were to be volunteering as an intern with Travel for Impact in Botswana as part of a placement through Queen’s Project on International Development (QPID). Unfortunately, I’ve had to return home early for reasons entirely outside of my control. Not being able to stay in Maun, Botswana for the full two months for my internship was honestly heartbreaking. I had been looking forward to it for so long and I prepared thoroughly—vaccinations, medications, paperwork, you name it—but what I didn’t plan for was my body’s unexpected reaction to the malaria prevention medications.
(Side note: there's no vaccine for malaria—just daily preventative pills you take before, during, and after your trip. What I didn’t know is that I’d be one of the 1.5% of people who can’t tolerate them.)
The first few days in Maun were great—I felt settled and excited. But by Day 4, everything changed. I woke up with my heart racing at 130 BPM (my normal is 69), I was shaky, dizzy, had no appetite, and I couldn’t stop crying for no clear reason. Then came the fever. I tried to push through, hoping it would pass, but it just kept getting worse. I ended up in the hospital, and the doctor told me that I needed to return to Canada.
***Dramatic Pause***
That moment hit hard. I felt frustrated, sad, guilty, even a little relieved. I just wanted to feel like myself again. I kept wondering, “Why me? What’s wrong with me? Am I just not ready for this?” And of course, I started comparing myself to the other intern who was doing fine on the same meds.
And when I got home? I expected to bounce back quickly. But the truth is, it took at least two weeks to feel like myself again. I had to slowly rebuild my routine and process what had happened. It wasn’t just physical recovery—it was mental and emotional, too.
A positive part of all this, though, was how supported I felt. My friends, family, coworkers, my professor, and the QPID team were constantly checking in and reminding me to prioritize my health. That support meant the world to me.
I wanted to share this experience because I hadn’t heard many stories like mine before it happened. And when you are abroad and something goes wrong, it can feel really isolating. But I have since learned that I am not alone—other Queen’s students have also had to return home from placements because of health concerns. That discovery made me feel less like “the only one.”
So, if you’re a Queen’s student—especially if you’re abroad or planning to go abroad—please listen to your body and mind. Don’t brush off symptoms or convince yourself to “tough it out.” Whether it’s physical or mental health, both deserve attention and care.
Although mental health is finally getting the attention it deserves, it can still feel easier to talk about physical symptoms than emotional ones. If something feels off—no matter what it is—reach out. You’re not being dramatic or weak. You’re just being human. Queen’s Student Wellness Services (SWS) is here to support you, too, no matter where you are. They offer help for both physical and mental health, and they understand the unique challenges students face. You can reach them at queensu.ca/studentwellness. You don’t have to go through anything alone.
And if you ever feel the need to reflect or process something, I really encourage writing about it—even just for yourself. Writing has helped me in ways I didn’t expect, and I know I’m not the only one. In my time with SASS, I’ve seen how learning how learning to express ideas, emotions, and experiences in writing—beyond academic writing—is sometimes exactly what we need.
Sending love to anyone who’s been through something similar, or who might be facing something tough now. You’re not alone.
Take care,
<3
M.