Dear Reader,
We made it through the semester! Congratulations on bearing the storm. I’m happy to say that after my last blog, I was able to begin one of my papers using the strategies I recommended. Turns out I like mind mapping simply because it gets me writing ideas down. Even if I don’t use any of them, it takes the edge off the gnawing anxiety.
I’m writing today from a space of frustration. My hope in writing this blog is that I will discover, through discussing my essay issue, how to move forward in the writing process.
Last year, I wrote a 20-page paper, and it was, without a doubt, the most difficult task I’ve tackled in academia. Structuring a paper of that size is no easy feat. After six drafts, I finally managed to get the paper in good enough shape to submit to my professor. After nine drafts, it was accepted for publication. The process took over a year, and I still have two rounds of editing to go.
This year, I’m writing another 20-page paper and I’m right back to where I was at this time last year. It’s a painful process. That’s not to say that I’m miserable, but I am being challenged to think extremely critically, and it’s tough to return to the desk every day and fight the battle.
I will say that this current paper is an organizational disaster. I started with an outline, had it approved by the professor, and now I just have to write the paper. But I’m 13 pages in and I feel like nothing is connecting. I have an introduction (which, if I’m being honest, is actually pretty good), three sections of the paper, and a handful of notes for the conclusion. My thesis needs to be revised given the direction my paper has taken, and I need to find some sort of connection across the paragraphs to effectively articulate my arguments.
Okay. Here’s an idea. I’ll call my writing buddy. Yes, I have one, and you should too. It’s someone to bounce ideas off of, someone to keep me on schedule, and someone to tell me when I’m way out of line with an argument. I just texted her and she’s going to call me in a couple hours. As I said to her, that gives me enough time to cool off so that I’m not so overwhelmed when we talk. I will report back soon.
…
In the meantime, I actually went ahead and got started on a separate essay for another course. I already had an outline, so I decided to try crafting my introductory paragraph. It took my mind off the messiness of the other paper and helped me feel more accomplished.
…
My writing buddy and her roommate had some advice: just keep writing. I’m only at 13 of 20 pages, so why worry about re-organizing the entire thing when I’m only about halfway there?
I’ve decided to develop a plan to get myself in order for the week. I have eight days left to finish this paper—and I want five days for revisions. That means I have three days left to write the remaining seven pages. I know that doesn’t give me much time, but I started with an outline—complete with all the research I could possibly need—so I have the material. I just need to craft it into paragraphs. I believe it’s doable in the timeframe I’ve suggested, especially since I have very few commitments over the coming days.
For the revision process, I need to come in with a clear head. If I need to use one of the five days to simply not touch the paper, I can do that. In completing my Master’s, I learned that giving myself time away from a paper can be really beneficial in approaching it. I usually like to give myself a few days or even a week, but unfortunately I’m a bit tight for time these days. The best I can do is one day, but that’s better than none.
Looking back over this blog, I’ve come to realize a few things:
Taking time away from a paper can actually yield the best results.
Having a writing buddy to connect with in moments of uncertainty can help you keep a clear head.
Managing my expectations given the time I have is key.
I keep comparing this paper to the one that has been accepted for publication—but I had a year to work on that one and eight days for this. Playing Mario Kart against last year’s ghost isn’t going to help. I need to clear the track and consider the different conditions. It’s time to get this paper closer to 20 pages so I can start connecting the dots.
For tonight, I’ll step away. Tomorrow, I’ll get back at it. I will get this done; I know that. Believing can take you a long way.
Until next time,
April